Mother's Day, May 11th 1997

Today we arrive in timely fashion at an extremely important junction in the Paul's letter to the Ephesians. He has established in our minds the tremendous blessings that are ours in Christ. He has given us some practical advice regarding our relationship with God and our fellow man. He purposefully took us through a discourse on the necessity of spiritual power in order for us to live lives of godliness and withstand the evil forces. It is particularly significant that he speaks to us regarding the fullness of the Spirit right before he speaks to the issue of relationships within the Christian home. There is an onslaught against the Judeo Christian family ethic, and in order for us to effectively stand against it, we must be filled with extraordinary wisdom and power. Such is only available through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Being Mother's day, we will focus on the particular verses in this passage that relate specifically to the wives and mothers in our midst today.

Ephes. 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 25-31 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her [26] to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, [27] and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. [28] In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. [29] After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-- [30] for we are members of his body. [31] "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] "Honor your father and mother"--which is the first commandment with a promise-- [3] "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

I. The Basis
The first observation here, is that when it comes to practical righteousness in the Christian home, it begins with mutual respect and understanding. The ideal situation is that every member in that household is respectful to one another. Giving each other space. Submitting to each ones individual uniqueness as a special creation of the Father. This is the ideal, but of course is not always the norm. What I want to say here today is that regardless of whether this atmosphere of mutual respect is present in our household or not, the command of the Lord with regard to the way we treat our mothers is very clear.

II. The Command
6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. [2] "Honor your father and mother"-- Here Paul is merely repeating a long standing command. It was first given by God in Exodus 20:12.
Some tell us that Mother's day is a recent idea. First established in West Virginia, in 1907, when Anna Jarvis wanted to do something to honor her mother. The fact is, that Mother's day began long before that. It began when God instituted a command that we must honor our mothers. From that point on, everyday should be Mothers Day. Not that I am not grateful for Mother's day. If it wasn't for this special occasion some mothers would be completely forgotten. This is not the way it was meant to be. Mothers are special and they ought to be honored. They ought to be honored because they are special, and they ought to be honored because God commanded it.
What does it mean to honor our mothers?

In Hebrew the word for honor is kabed. The word literally means "to be heavy, weighty, to honor." Today we still link the idea of being heavy with honoring a person. When someone with great influence speaks, we refer to their words as "carrying a lot of weight". Someone whose words are weighty are worthy of honor and respect. We can learn even more about what it means to honor by looking at the opposite in the scriptures. In the Hebrew, the word for curse is qalal. It means to "make light of, or to dishonor" To consider something of little value or worth. Like mist, or steam, or dust, it is something that is worthless, insignificant and irritating, that must simply be brushed aside. When God commands us to honor our mothers He is telling us that they are worthy of the highest honor and esteem. That their words have weight behind them. They ought to be heavyweights in our lives! Exactly the opposite is true when we dishonor them. We treat them like a layer of dust on a table worth nothing more than to be brushed aside. If we fail to honor our mothers we not only disobey God, but we also drain ourselves of life. Paul goes on in this passage to remind us that there is a blessing that comes from honoring our mothers. Notice in the third place:

III. The Promise.

"which is the first commandment with a promise-- [3] "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Before we look any further we need to say something about the promises of God. We have in the past looked at many aspects of God's promises. We know that they are true. That He never breaks them. His promises are always fulfilled. What He promises will always come to pass. Numbers 23:19 God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? Psalm 119:140 Your promises have been thoroughly tested, and your servant loves them. Psalm 145:13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. 2 Cor. 1:20 For no matter how many promises God has made, they are "Yes" in Christ. And so through him the "Amen" is spoken by us to the glory of God. God keeps His promises.
But there is something else we notice about His promises. It is conditional. If you fulfill the condition of this promise, God will honor you life. If you honor your parents, God will bless your life. But is you choose to dishonor your parents, God will withhold His blessings from your life. I have seen this happen over and over again.

There are two aspects of this promise that relate to those who honor their mothers. The first reflects our relationship to God. "That it may go well with you" In the original language the entire phrase "it may go well" is represented by the one word eu. It actually reads like this: "ina eu soi" in order that excellent with you" The word was used to congratulate someone on a task well done. You can be sure that part of the blessing given to us when we honor our mothers is that God says to us "Excellent! Well done!" It affects our relationship with Father. In Leviticus 19:3 God equated keeping the Sabbath holy with the command to be consistent in honoring our parents. Jesus equated the dishonoring of parents with hypocrisy and dishonoring of God. Listen to His strong rebuke of the Pharisees who dishonored their parents in the name of religion. Matthew 15:3-8 Jesus replied, "And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? [4] For God said, 'Honor your father and mother' and 'Anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.' [5] But you say that if a man says to his father or mother, 'Whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God,' [6] he is not to 'honor his father' with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. [7] You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you: [8] " 'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. The relationship we have with our mothers is like a spiritual barometer. We cannot claim to be honoring God while dishonoring our parents. But if we honor our moms we can be sure to hear the precious words of commendation from our heavenly Father, "Well done! Excellent!"

The second aspect relating to the promise is: "That you may live long on the earth"

Honoring our mothers actually increases the quality of our lives. We are able to live longer and better. Medical science has proved conclusively that long life is linked to peace of mind. Peace of mind is not possible with a history of dishonor to parents. I have come across people who have been twisted physically and emotionally with bitterness because of dishonoring relationships with parents. I have met others who are the most pleasant and encouraging people to be around. When you see how these different groups of people interact around their moms, you can immediately tell the difference. The ones who are openly affectionate with mom are always happiest. The ones that can't wait to say a complimentary word about their mothers are the ones who are always looking for the good in everyone else. This is the blessing that comes from a life of honoring our parents. The opposite is a life of misery.

The Bible often makes the connection between honor and blessing. Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Some people have been harboring dishonor towards their mothers for years. We don't always want to admit it, but until we do we will never know true freedom. Remember the words of David the Psalmist when he harbored sin in his heart? Psalm 32 Psalm 32:3-4 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4] For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. But then he speaks of the joy that is his when he repents and receives forgiveness. It is only then that he can exclaim "rejoice in the Lord"

Honoring our parents instills in us the qualities that are known to correlate with a long and healthy life

IV. The Way We Honor
We honor our mothers by obeying them.
This is how we demonstrate true love. Remember Jesus words to His disciples in John 14:31 "but the world must know that I love the Father and that I obey what He tells me to do." Obedience is a practical demonstration of love. We may not want to obey our mothers. Many times we brush off their instructions to us as petty. But a mother cares. A mother knows things that we cannot imagine. She knows us better than we know ourselves
We honor our mothers by praising them.
Proverbs 31:28, 30 "Her children show their appreciation, and her husband praises her. A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
We honor our mothers by showing appreciation.
We honor our mothers by taking their advice.
Proverbs 1:8 "Do not forsake your mother's teaching."
We may need to forgive some of her flaws.
We may need to apologize for pain we gave her.
Honor her as she becomes a grandmother and a great-grandmother.
Proverbs 23:22 "Do not despise your mother when she is old." This means providing what we can to meet her needs. This means treating her with dignity, understanding, and support.
Honor her if she is already dead. By being what she taught me to be.
2 Timothy 1:1-4 "Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by the will of God, according to the promise of life that is in Christ Jesus, [2] To Timothy, my dear son: Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord. [3] I thank God, whom I serve, as my forefathers did, with a clear conscience, as night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. [4] Recalling your tears, I long to see you, so that I may be filled with joy. Timothy was honoring his mother by what she taught him to be. Some of the things that we learned from our mothers are revealed here.
Transparent Tenderness. vs. 4. ...even as I recall your tears. We learn tenderness from the tender heart of a mother. We dad's are not always good at that. We can teach our boys the other things about life. Dad can teach us how to drop a turtle dove, but it's mom who teaches us to cry, having done so.
The tenderness I feel in my heart many times today is because my mom was never ashamed to cry when she felt pity. Let me tell you something. There are times today that Jan and I will be watching a movie that is just slightly sad and Jan will say, "Good thing your mom isn't here now. She'd be crying." My mom would cry a river of tears watching "Little House on the Prairie."
Sincere Spirituality vs. 5. The Greek word for sincere used by Paul here is the word anupocritos. an- meaning without, and upokritos meaning hypocrisy. Without hypocrisy. The King James renders the verb unfeigned. In other words, this was not a phony, Sunday morning kind of spirituality. It was a spirituality lived out in everyday life. 2 Tim. 3:14-15 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
hat's the way authentic spirituality works. Christian schools can give you the facts. The words. Sunday school teachers can help you memorize the verses. They can tell your kids the stories. But it is mom's life in the home that qualifies all they learn as authentic. As real. As believable. It is the home that they taste of spirituality. The most likely place that our children will get their first taste of the Word is from mom. We honor mom by taking this with us into our lives.

The philosopher Froeble said, "The destiny of nations lies far more in the hands of women -the mothers- than in the hands of those that possess power"